Twilight In Randomness
by Seth'sGirlfriend
Summary: Twilight with lots of randomness.
1. Prologue

Prologue

I'd never given much thought to how I would die though I'd had reason enough in the last few months but even I had, I would not have imagined I like this.

I stared waiting for my final break through. I looked in the eyes of the killer and he look at me like he wanted to break out in dance.

Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone who was invincible. I thought I was really noble. That ought to count for something

But you can never stop believing on love. Pray and hope that they would come but still. I knew that if I never gone to Forks, I wouldn't be where I am today. When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.


	2. First Sight

Chapter 1: First Sight

As I arrived in Forks, I found my dad Charlie leaning on the side of the car.

"Hey, Dad. Um, what are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm doing this cause I'm bad." He said.

_(Bad by Michael Jackson comes on)_

Come on Bells, it's time to go.

How's your mom? I hope she's good.

We're almost here.

Look there's a deer.

It's always green

And a lot of tree.

I'm a Cop

I'm a Cop

In Forks!

We had now arrived at Charlie's small house. I went up to my old room which was now painted purple. I looked out my window and I saw my dad standing outside next to a truck. I ran outside.

"Hey Bells, this is your welcome home present." Charlie explained.

"Aw, really. Hey, who are the dudes?" I asked.

"Oh! This is Billy Black, my best friend, and Jacob Black, the boy I want you to da- I mean be friends with." He introduced.

"Nice to see you again, Bella." Billy said.

"Hey, wanna hang out sometime?" Jacob said.

"After you show me how to drive my truck." I said with a grin.

"Ok!"

*Flash forward to school*

"Um, are you Isabella Swan?" this nerdy dude asked me.

"Um, yeah, but call me Bella." I replied.

" Well, then, Bella, I'm Eric. I'm the eyes and the ears of the school." He said.

"Meaning." I raised an eyebrow.

"I work with the school paper." Eric explained.

"Oh." I said.

"May I escort you to your first class?" he asked.

"Sure."

"So where did you move from?" Eric asked trying to make small talk.

"Arizona. Phoenix" I replied.

"Oh, how long have you lived there?" He questioned opening the cafeteria door for me.

"Since I was little, like baby little." I retorted as I walked through the door.

"Wow, that's interesting." He said obliviously interested in me. "What your first class?"

"Umm… CRAP! It's gym!" I yelled.

"What's wrong with gym?" Eric asked.

"Everything! First, it's my FIRST class so that means I'm going to have to stink all day. Second, I am very uncoordinated." As I explained I tripped.

"It's won't be that bad trust me! Well, here is the locker room… um see you later?" he asked hopefully.

"Yeah sure, whatever." I said busting into the locker room.

*Fast forward to gym part*

_Gotta focus on hitting the ball. HA! I HIT IT… into that boy._

"OUCH! Who the hell hit me? HUH?" sharkboy asked.

"Sorry it was me! I told them don't let me play" I said batting my eyelashes.

"Oh, no, it's… cool. I'm Mike." He introduced.

"Hey, I'm Bella!"

"She has a nice spike right" This prep said sarcastically.

"By the way, I'm Jessica." She said flipping her hair into my face.

"Yeah, sure"I retorted.

*Fast forward to LUNCH TIME*

JESSICA'S POV

"and this crazy pyramid fell from the sky. And that was my dream!" Eric ended. "Hey, I see you met my home girl, Bella."

_What was so special about Bella? I mean I'm pretty. Hmm… I think I'm gonna have to assassinate her. If I only had a …_

"Who are they?" Bella asked.

"That's Emmett Cullen (_Mr. Dimples_) and Rosalie Hale (_The Blonde Bimbo_). There like together… like together together."

"Did you know your voice is annoying?" she asked.

"Yes, that's why I talk all the time, now shut up! And that's Jasper Hale (_The One with the Stick up His Ass._) and Alice Cullen (_The Pixie on Drugs). And that's …"_

"OMG, just fucking tell me!"

"Edward Cullen (_the Greek God_). They all live with Dr. Cullen (the sexist doctor ALIVE) and his wife."

Then all of a sudden, Edward Cullen started laughing hysterically. Just as fast as he started, he stopped and looked at me and said, "Sorry, continue with the introductions." FREAKS!

Then the lunch bell rang.

*Biology*

BELLA'S POV

As I enter then door, I saw the most gorgeous face I ever had seen. The face of –close up- Edward Cullen.

I walked into the fan and let him see my beauty. Then he stiffened like he turned to stone.

"Ah, you must be Isabella." The teacher said.

"Yep, that's me!" I said.

"Go ahead and have a seat next to Mr. Cullen." He gestured toward the seat.

"Kay, Kay." I sat in the seat next to Mr. Hottie.

"Hi!" I greeted.

"Hello." he strained.

"Are you okay? You sound constipated." I said worried.

"I'm fine" he strained again.

"No, you're not" I raised my hand.

"Yes, Isabella" Mr. what-his-face said

"Edward is constipated. Do you have any laxatives?" I asked.

"Uh, no. do you need to leave, Mr. Cullen?" he asked.

"Uhh, yes, sir." He said. He got up and left.

"Hope you can go poop!" I said while waving.

The class laughed.

*End of the day*

_This day has gone fairly well, other than all the boys following me and constipated Edward. Hmm, I hope he's all right._

As I walked into the office, I heard his smexy voice.

"I need to trade sixth hour Biology." He demanded. I wonder why he wants to switch, I hope I wasn't the cause.

"Why?" the receptionist asked.

"The new girl, Bella, she's embarrassing. She told the whole class I was constipated!" He rambled.

"Wow, I'll see if I can find something."

I decided it's time to intervene.

"Sup, Eddie?" I greeted.

"Please, don't call me Eddie." He said.

"Aw, is little Eddie hungry? It's okay, Eddie, maybe we'll have really good food today!" I said trying to cheer him up.

"There is always good food." He sighed.

"Well, let's go somewhere!" I said.

"WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Aren't we ahead a few chapters?" he said going through this book.

"Well, the author of this story probably doesn't wanna write all that crap!" I reasoned.

"Well, fine, but I'm only doing this for the author!"

"Come on then, we have to go! To Italian Bella!" I ran out the door.


	3. First Date

HELLO, my fanfictioners. I AM BACKK *applause* please please stop *stop* well then anyways. I got busted again, but aye she couldn't take my computer away, I'm too sweet. lol. So enjjoys it :DDDDD

* * *

Epov

Yeah I really don't wanna be here right now.

"So, Edward," she said licking her lips.

I pulled out my cell phone and started typing a text.

_Help me! I am stuck with the most retardest girl ever, shes dumber than Emmett!_

"O, you have a phone let's trade cell phone number! You what kind of phone do you have? I have an iPhone as you can see! The ironic thing is that my dad can afford to buy me an iPhone, but can't afford to buy me a mustang, I mean, REALLY! Who would want that piece of shit? Definitely not me! I just had an idea. You should pick me up for school every day!"

"Ooookkkkkaaayy! How much sugar did you put in your coffee today?"

I asked.

"You're so silly! I don't drink coffee, that's icky! But I did have a Monster, Red Bull, Rockstar, a FUZE, and a Bolt."

"Bella, I think I should take you to the hospital. All that caffeine isn't good for you."

My pants vibrated. Holy shit did that feel good!

_New Message_

_Gross 2. She's going to pass out any minute 3.I'm going to drop her car off at her house._

_-Ali_

Wait did she see me jizz in my pants?

**CLUNCK!**

I looked up and saw that Bella had hit her head on the table and was currently unconscious. I got up getting ready to take her to the hospital.

"Hello, my name's Jessie. I'll be your server today. Are you ready to order?" the red head said

"Yes, I would like to order the red head serving me today."

She giggled.

"What time do you get off of work?"


	4. Theories

HAHAHAHA! This one is SUPER random. ENJOY! 3

* * *

3rd Person

"Sir, I think you lost this," Edward said dumping a sleeping Bella into his arms.

"What?" Charlie said. "I never even had a dog." [A/N: OOHHHH! DISSED! ;)]

Bella starts to stir in his arms. She rubs her eyes and looks for Edward.

"Edward, you're so sweet. You carried me to my doorstep." She said jumping down from Charlie's arms.

"UHHHH, yeah! Anyway, I have to go. It was nice meeting you, Chief Swan." Edward said shaking his hand. Her father returns it and walks back into the house.

"Edward, I have my theories… to what you are." Bella said breathing very weirdly.

"Are you ok? Is your asthma acting up?" Edward said sincerely concerned.

"Uh"-gasp- "hold on." –Gasp- "gotta get my inhaler" she reached into her back pocket taking out an inhaler.

"Ok. Just... You go inside and get some rest and I'll go on my date with Jesse." He said shoving her into the house.

"What about my theories?" she shouted through the door.

"Oh, yeah, just tell me tomorrow at school." He shouted back as he hopped into his Volvo. With that he sped off into the sunset.

Inside, Bella was just about to go upstairs to get some rest when the phone rang.

"The phone, the phone is ringing. The phone, I'll be right there. The phone, the phone is ringing. There's a person on the phone! There's a person on the phone! There's a person wantin' to talk to meeee!" She sang.

"Just answer the flipping phone." Charlie yelled from the living room.

"Fine, Mr. Grumpypants!" she mumbled. "HELLO!"

There was no response, just heavy breathing.

"Hello!" Bella repeated.

"Hi, this is Annabeth. Are you the hoe, Percy's been with?" the voice sneered. (A/n: Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief :D)

* * *

"Percy." Bella wondered. " I know a lot of Percy's. I know Percy Analee, Percy Beast, Percy Catherine, Percy Dadges, Percy Eff, Percy Fide…"

"What about Percy Jackson?" Annabeth asked clearly irritated.

"No, sorry." She said. She hung up the phone and bounded up the stairs.

~Next Day~

Edward walked into the cafeteria. He took his place at a different table remembering the promise he made to Bella.

Bella was animatedly chatting with Jessica when she spotted Edward beckoning for her.

"Hey, I think Cullen wants you." Mike noticed.

Edward was standing on top of the table, wearing a bright neon sign that read.

_Dummy sitting next to the hot dirty blonde; come over here so we can get this over with._

Bella took a breath and slowly walked over.

"BELLA, HURRY UP. WE HAVE NO TIME FOR A SLOW- MO MOMENT." Edward called from his table. She picked up her speed and headed over.

"Why, hello Eduardo." She tried to seduce him.

"Hey, now what are your theories?" he rushed.

"1. You were attacked by Barbie and were made a Ken doll that talks." Bella said.

"That is completely wrong." He said shaking his head in disappointment.

"Ok. 2. Justin Bieber decided to make robots and he made your mission to come scope out hot babes like me." She said doing the robot.

"Uhh," he said. _Oh crap, she's on to us._

"Did I get it right?" she smiled.

"Psh, No. Pshh, what gave you THAT idea? Pssssshhh!" Edward said leaning back into his chair. "Excuse me; I have to do something over there in that place."

He got up and rushed over to the corner of the cafeteria.

"Master Bieber," he whispered in his watch. "The humans are onto us."

"Well, deny everything… like I do." It said back.(A/N: lol I love his music but he does deny alot of stuff) He nodded and with back over to Bella.

"I have to go now, but don't you worry your pretty little head about what I am?" He left leaving a very confused Bella.

* * *

Hey peeps :D I'mma be working on my stories one at a time starting with this one and next week I'll be working on a different story. Don't forget to review :)


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